Welcome to my odd little world

PLEASE NOTE THAT THE HOME PAGE FOR THIS SITE HAS MOVED _ PLEASE VISIT www.sarcasmforbabies.com SO THAT YOU WILL SEE THE WHOLE SITE. SELECTING FAVORITE WORKS WILL BRING YOU BACK HERE TO SEE MY COLLECTION. THERE IS NOW AN ONLINE STORE AT www.cafepress.com/mbydalek


Hello and welcome to my collection of odd and ofttimes irreverent musings. To better understand where these oddities come from, let me introduce my professional and accomplished staff.
Jackson - At 4 years old, he provides my material and does field research on most of my off color subjects. He has expert skills in potty humor, digestive anomolies, and most bodily noises.
Christian - One of my twin 3 year olds, he leads my focus groups. Fortunately, he laughs at everything as long as I am making faces while I present it.
Laina - She is the other twin 3 year old and may be a mole in our organization. Most of her time is spent trying to destroy all original copies of my work by either eating the original documents or by dragging my computer off the desk and using it as a trampoline.
Sydney - She is our gorgeous little newborn intern. After her internship, she will become VP of Human Resources.
Chelsea - AKA - Little Brown Dog - Although she has been a part of the organization since day 1, her role has seemed to evolve into lab guinea pig. I am not sure why there would be animal experimatation going on in a poetry outfit, but the rest of the staff seems to find this to ba crucial part of daily operations

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Elevators

I like to think of escalators

As simply stairs for couch potaters

Posted by at No comments:

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Little Jackson Nosleep

I’ve got a little story

If your sure you want to hear.

It’s the tale of Jackson Nosleep

And it happened right near here.


Now Jackson was a little boy

Who wouldn’t go to bed

He’d think of everything to do

To stay awake instead.


He’d stay awake by dancing

Or by rolling on the floor.

But his parents shook their heads

As they pointed to his door.


So he went into his room

And sat down on his bed.

While thoughts of how to stay awake

Were dancing through his head.


He pulled out all his toys

And made a terrible mess.

Would all his toys keep him awake?

The answer must be yes!


His mind began to wander

And turn to softer things.

Like clouds and cotton candy

And the lullaby Mom sings.


He thought of all his teddy bears

And wooly, fuzzy sheep.

Soon Jackson Nosleep closed his eyes

And drifted off to sleep.

Posted by at No comments:

Car Seat

I love my little car seat

Though it doesn’t smell too nice.

I’ve done so many things there,

I even pooped there twice.


It takes me to my Grandma’s house

And sometimes to the zoo

Everyplace that I go,

My car seat goes there too.

Posted by at No comments:

Monday, May 19, 2008

Underwear

I love my underwear.

I wear it under there.

Even though there’s one of them,

They call each one a pair.


They come in many colors.

We buy them in our town.

The only color I don’t want

Are undies colored brown.


To purchase items with this poem, please visit http://www.cafepress.com/mbydalek/5656581

Posted by at No comments:

My Fly

They call the thing a fly.

Don’t know the reason why.

But every time I leave it down

My mother screams “Oh My!”


So I zip myself back up

As I tell my mother “Geez”,

Why can’t I just leave it down?

I really like the breeze.


To purchase items with this poem, please visit http://www.cafepress.com/mbydalek/5655413

Posted by at No comments:

No Pickety

Every time I pick my nose

My Mommy says “no pickety!”

If I spread those germs around

We all could get quite sickety


So I take my fingers out right away

And ask her for a tissue.

Then while she’s wiping off my nose

I think “Oh pickety, I miss you!”


To purchase items with this poem, please visit http://www.cafepress.com/mbydalek/5655329

Posted by at No comments:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)